And here I was worried about YOU!

FIL left Wednesday - actually very stressless... although I'm glad the TV is back down to normal levels and our front door has stopped SLAMMING itself....lol... Starting to take the twins out more and started a little mommy & me class, but since our oldest is...OLD (almost 10) I have been running into the "oh, better you than me" crap among the "Muffia" at school. So, I'm getting out there and meeting some new people, but it's uh, so much easier to park on the 'puter and surf. I certainly won't make friends or expose the twins to the real world THAT way...

Honestly, I had a small panic attack the other day. I feel that, althought I love what I'm doing, if pressed (God forbid) I am unemployable. Like, no future. A really good wife/personal assistant, but my hours are good and my boss is partial... DH is in real estate - extremely successful, thank goodness - and has been pushing me in that direction, but it's cutthroat these days and I'd rather run in front of a bus. I was an actor, but that's no-woman's land for over 40 and I can't EVEN think about being judged like that on a daily basis - eeeeeew. I used to paint those children's murals, but God, that was exhausting physical labor, as well. My fine art... well, I'd have to hoodwink quite a few people IYKWIM! I finished a rather giant canvas a few weeks ago and thought, "OMFSM, if I had to schmooze anyone to get my work into a gallery right now, I'd puke. Is that what it takes these days? I don't know."

Well, enough of my crap. Problems of abundance - or "Cadillac Problems", I have!... I should go volunteer at the old folk's home and shut my yap! Off to change some diapers and tantalize them with cheese tortellini.

The Thin Veil

My grandmother passed away in Birmingham after surgery on September 11th, 2001. In California, I was gone to give blood and not home when my Aunt called. My dh told me when I got home. I had a major private meltdown in my room (she pretty much raised me). We didn't tell ds#1 (5yo) one word about it - we were waiting for daylight. I couldn't get a plane and was going to drive east the next day. Everyone went to bed. What a hideous day, remember?

Next morning, ds tells us about his dream (very unusual - he's NOT talking Pokemon, blah blah blah) ... "Granny came to see us and the house and she was smiling and happy, so I showed her around, then she went up." We figure she came to see how we were (she'd been too frail to come visit for a long time) and let us know she was "going home".We figured God and the angels needed a Pink Lady (you know, those Info ladies at the hospital - she volunteered for years, she was the first smiling face folks would see when they came into the hospital) to help all those people that died on September 11th get to all the places in heaven they were going...I have always been so glad that she came to say goodbye!

The best and the worst in humans

I am taking time to get a grip on this Hurricane Katrina disaster. Awful, horrid, and seemingly hopeless. I fell asleep last night praying for those poor people. In my nice. safe. warm. bed. Things seem a tad trivial right now. We'll be packing up some things that we would have sent to recovery homes, but we're thinking they'll need things so much more. My heart is just breaking for them. Well, time for me to do what I do best... mobilize, and organize.